it is safe to say that i have spent the majority of my life a stage 5 people pleaser. true with friendships, elders (of course), colleagues, and men i've been involved with. so much so that, in many instances, i've compromised my own wishes and opinions in order to remain as likeable as possible. it's taken years and years to overcome this deep desire to be liked. i wish i knew exactly where it came from. is that a trait you're born with or is it learned? at this point in my life - while i will always remain respectful, open-minded and professional - i'm constantly reminding myself that it's okay to take responsibility for what i need and what i want from my relationships. it's incredibly freeing to stand in your own convictions. i worry less about others' perceptions of me and more about living the way i want, knowing full and well that what i do and say will probably turn some people off. while it has never and probably will never be my intention to offend others, i'm more comfortable knowing that if it happens, it's a matter of clashing perspectives or personalities more so than something being wrong with who i am or what i want.
now i could do several posts on past relationships with men (errrr...boys, rather) as it relates to this topic, but we'll save that for another time. for now, i'll just say that it's okay to expect that you're never going to please everyone. so i say focus on the one that matters most. (that's you, btdubs.)
now, i obviously don't mean for this to be taken literally. if you're a generally likeable person, more power to you! just don't be willing to compromise yourself too much for others' sake.
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