You guys. It's Friday. Which is great, except how did that happen?? I feel like my days are down to 7.5 hours with so many more things to accomplish than is humanly possible. Eric and I had dinner with good friends last night and since they're expecting their second babe any day now (!!!!), they had lots of baby advice to share. Which I'm soaking up like a dry sponge.
They asked so many questions about how we felt about this or are we going to do that, and I was so embarrassed by how many times E and I just looked at each other with blanks. WHO'S NOT READY? These kids! We went straight home (okay okay we stopped for ice cream first) and talked about all the baby related things that need to get done/learned before Baby Reed arrives.
But, selfishly, what about all of the nonbaby things that I thought I'd do before our little one enters this world? What about the things I want for myself and ambitiously thought I could have in place? I know that these things work themselves out and that priorities are bound to change once Baby hits our arms, but MAN if I don't want so many things for ME first.
Am I a horrible person? Everyone goes through this, right? And I KNOW that my life isn't over in any way shape or form, but it is a hard truth that Baby's needs will always come first after this. Dreams I had for myself may be put on hold or fall to the wayside completely. Clearly, I'm still processing that.
Be sure that I am immeasurably grateful and excited for this gift due to arrive in mere months. In so many ways, I look forward to this unknown and how life-changing it will be. Curious -- if those of you that are mommies care to share -- how do you balance? Do you kind of inherently know where to draw the lines for yourself?
* And, oops, none of this has anything to do with the gorgeous paper craft genius that is Yulia Brodskaya. Until you read her artist declaration about the limitations of the medium and how it's forced her to experiment and embrace what can and cannot be accomplished within those boundaries. Quite poignant and more than relevant if you think about it.
If you're still reading, thanks for entertaining my ramblings.
Happy Friday! ox
Love this post! Totally normal! I went so far as to start planning trips that my husband and I could take without the baby because I was so nervous about the whole "your life will never be the same" thing. Trust me it will work itself out. I was bad about doing things for myself the first year or so, but it's easier now. Priorities do change but only because you want them too! I'm so excited for you!
ReplyDeleteThat artwork is amazing!
ReplyDeletewww.FripperyVintage.com
i say your lackadaisical attitude is quite refreshing. i was a fucking nightmare to be around. do we have this?!!?? do i need that?!? then when fiona came into the world i realized i actually needed about 1/10th of what "they" say you need. here's my checklist: swaddling blankets (extras bc some of them suck and you have to find your groove with wrapping up your little burrito), lots of diapers, a boppy (such a godsend), breast pads for your leaking boobs, nursing bras, maxi pads (the big ones), some kind of sleeping apparatus for the bean that you can move around to wherever you'll be(a pack n play, a bassinet, whatever you're using), a bouncy seat or vibrating seat. you're all set.
ReplyDeleteall you'll really REALLy need are your boobs and sleep. and your mom and your MIL. use them. to great extent. do not deny any visitors. for they are going to come and hold the baby while you shower and shit and nap. and they will more than likely clean your house and cook you some food. let them.
trust.
aww i wish i could relate, but no babes for me. i know, just from the vibe, you'll be great at this. and i hope you get to stay true to yourself in the process too. dont lose yourself, but be the best mom you can be. not too hard, right? HA. sounds like THE hardest...
ReplyDeleteIm wishing you good luck all along the way!
This seriously won't help you at all until baby is here but I'll share anyway. :) Everything will work out just fine. The first couple weeks may be a little crazy but you guys will figure out what works for you and baby and life will go on and be wonderful. Wonderful in ways that you could not ever imagine! Being a mother is the most amazing and, I won't lie to you, hard thing you'll ever do. But it's also the most rewarding, years from now you'll look back and you won't care about anything but that precious baby. Congrats!!
ReplyDeleteThe artwork floors me. Like jaw-dropping amazing. As for your anxieties, totally normal. I can't speak as a mum but I know from friends' and families experience that you'll figure it all out and don't need to lose YOU in the process. Trust, hun, you guys are gonna be great ;) xxx
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way, so I declare you normal. :) Trust me, you can never be 'ready' enough but you'll know what to do when the time comes.
ReplyDeleteThere's no doubt that life changes with a baby, and at the beginning is quite shocking as all you do is care for someone else, and in your "spare" time, instead of doing things you enjoy, you just take care of your necessities like taking a shower, eating, and maybe taking a nap if someone is home helping you. So, I'd suggest that you enjoy this time you have for you, go to the movies, sleep, walk, whatever it is you like. The balance kind of happens in its own way, you'll see that once the baby arrives, things that were important for you will no longer be and vice-versa. It's kind of natural ;)
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and pamper yourself in advance for the hard work that will come later ;) And don't even stress about all the gadgets and things they say you "must" have. One thing that really helped me was one of those electronic swings, I wouldn't have been able to do many things without it!
As you know, we are due at like the exact same time, so I have no advice. :( But I can commiserate with you! :) I want to take five different vacations between then and now, but I also have to get an entire year's worth of work done in the next few months, and we're trying to adjust our spending and junk. So much to think about, always! And everyone is telling me to do everything fun NOW. Not helpful. I bet you're looking pretty cute though - so just enjoy that and take it easy. Right? I don't know. Like I said, I have no advice, but I feel you, girl.
ReplyDeleteMFAMB said it all. Ok, and you need a carseat... unless you squirt junior out at home.
ReplyDeleteYou need very little to have a baby. Diapers.
As for what the baby will do to your life, now that is another story. All I can say is it will be the most incredible/terrifying/exhausting thing that has ever happened to you. But you'll never be sorry it happened.
Enjoy your me time. Go out to eat. Buy yourself post baby clothes and furniture and paint and all that fun stuff. Do it now while you can and never feel guilty about it.
I'm due with our second one in about 12 weeks. And freaking out a little about balancing the needs of a 4 year old, a newborn, and us two adults. But as with the first one, everything will be the way its supposed to be. Hard and rewarding, and emotional and joyful.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'd like to add to what everyone else has said is this: time flies incredibly fast. All the hardships will pass and you will forget about them, all the "firsts" will also pass at lightning speed. So hold on to the beautiful moments as closely as you can and when things get rough, just remember that its not forever.
They grow up so fast. The first year is all about caretaking, and all the years after that is the relationship you will cherish your entire life.